when two worlds collide in the middle for casual conversation
him - it's a great surprise, like when you find a lost beer from months ago in the back of the fridge.
me - huh?
might as well been talking about unicorns. no such thing as a lost beer in my refrigerator!
him - worked for nearly forty years at a job I hated. now i just hate.
me - yeah, know what you mean.
what we do for money and what we also refuse; either way we lose.
him - planned on saving money and traveling the world for when i finally grew up.
me - i never grew up.
all one needs is the shoes on their feet, sometimes even less, depends on the amount of soul left with treds.....
him - ya know, sometimes i'm envious of you and your adventures at times.
me - okay.
not the response waiting for, but i never was the kind to have a normal life, family, pension, maybe a dog, and i don't lie any longer.
i see this journey, the people around me my age, all from the same big bang. our trajectories went spreading out in all different directions, and this is one of the reasons i participate in social media (FB) so as to observe like a digital telescope and watch our (friends) paths as they spread further & futher, spreading out and find some form of joy in doing so. their/your lives are a tiny spark in this darkened mind, pinholes in the canopy i gravitate towards like a seedling reaching to the crack of the cellar door searching for some kind of life out there.... in a world brighter than this.
envy is one of the 7 deadlies i've been working on. i try to be happy for what people have or have accomplished. i've been doing some very heavy meditations on everything and the only true absolute - nothing, whilst simutaniously, unbiased, the roots taking seed from the ego death i've been blessed with 1 1/2 times in my brief lifetime as ambition. And have reached a point, which i now understand getting thus far - the enigmatic stare of The Buddha. it is the point (like the next level in video game) in which one can see thru the eyelids completely, as if lids not even present. it is not a gaze, as some lamens may choose to believe, it is actually the point of no longer needing the function of the eye sense right out, which happens to be the most prominent of the five, at least that of the humans.
Now it is at this point when i ask if he has ever taken LSD? then on to a list of other 'drugs' until the bottom of barrel - marijuana, (ooh, scary!) in which he replied that he did/does on occasion. it is at this moment in our getting reacquainted, that i produce and proceed, cracking another beer in the process and handing it to my old friend friend who seems to me to be so much older, yet at same time none-the-wiser....
him - i know i shouldn't. if she smells beer on my breath there will be hell to pay. remember how we used to drink?
me - yeah, you should have some due credit.
Heaven is Hell to some, but Hell is always hellish to anyone, best to be avoided, unless your Heaven is hellish as well. If so being - f-ck it.
but i've seen guys with open tabs before. wondering how he handles the weed on top after all these years with some trepidation, yet at the same time saturated with curiosity as if two mortal enemies chill to see what comes from the teeth cleaning....
him - remember that time ----- and goes on about a crazy high school night and the cold punishment dished out ------
me - yeah, probably shouldn't have drove into the pool like that.
it was minor in what's left of my memory, but still a big chunk of rebellion of his youth, and it was nice to see him relive even if for a moment, witness the spark in his eye that has dwindled and become so faded over time.... for me it was a simple, brief moment in time, very minor delinquency for my forever rolling rapsheet. at that age, mid-teen, i was living out of a backpack sleeping here & there when i could, always on the run, which is what you do as a runaway. think i accumulated enough lack of sleep that until this day i am still tired even after 12 hours of REM at age 51.
but those were the different paths we chose, our trajectories traveled over time & space now converging into a sit down smoke session overlooking the Lake where his kids played & wife sunbathed. he gets to go back to his mortgage and the family boat, which touches water about twice a year, but makes for status. a mountain of possessions or accomplishments? better than the me? matter of perception, i suppose. for possessions can often possess & accomplishments can easily become what you credit to/as your identity.
we said farewell with hug, for might as well make it personal if you can, for it may be your very last never knowing if there will be an obstical in the trajectory, or, what is most common we each supernova into oblivion never to cross trails again. despite what is, what was, what could be, what should never be, and what some what it to be, it is still a BIG Universe. We (claiming humans) are just small cogs & wheels in the great wheel of destiny & prophetic chance. thus, he drove off in his Mercedes & me on my bicycle to part ways again, forever & a day waiting at a bus station that doesn't exist.
in the morning he got up bright and early for his golf game; i awoke in a tent to the sound of crickets & a red-tailed hawk i've since named 'Red'.
i rose to take a piss, beer cans strewn about; at his breakfast table spilled milk over Cheerios. at noon he was talking stocks with golf buddies; i was trying to learn to speak sparrow shooing mosquitoes and picking my nose.
two very distinctly different worlds, but i like to think each as unique & interesting as the other coincide. i'm sure our get-together will be talked with about the boys and sure he will talk as positive about me as i him, for everything is everything and everything is beautiful each in their own way and where we came from is where we are going, so it is not goodbye, but until next time - smell ya later! my friend, until next time….
when two worlds collide in the middle for casual conversation Part 19,256,012
him - it's a great surprise, like when you find a lost beer from months ago in the back of the fridge.
me - huh?
might as well been talking about unicorns. no such thing as a lost beer in my refrigerator!
him - worked for nearly forty years at a job I hated. now i just hate.
me - yeah, know what you mean.
what we do for money and what we also refuse; either way we lose.
him - planned on saving money and traveling the world for when i finally grew up.
me - i never grew up.
all one needs is the shoes on their feet, sometimes even less, depends on the amount of soul left with treds.....
him - ya know, sometimes i'm envious of you and your adventures at times.
me - okay.
not the response waiting for, but i never was the kind to have a normal life, family, pension, maybe a dog, and i don't lie any longer.
i see this journey, the people around me my age, all from the same big bang. our trajectories went spreading out in all different directions, and this is one of the reasons i participate in social media (FB) so as to observe like a digital telescope and watch our (friends) paths as they spread further & futher, spreading out and find some form of joy in doing so. their/your lives are a tiny spark in this darkened mind, pinholes in the canopy i gravitate towards like a seedling reaching to the crack of the cellar door searching for some kind of life out there.... in a world brighter than this.
envy is one of the 7 deadlies i've been working on. i try to be happy for what people have or have accomplished. i've been doing some very heavy meditations on everything and the only true absolute - nothing, whilst simutaniously, unbiased, the roots taking seed from the ego death i've been blessed with 1 1/2 times in my brief lifetime as ambition. And have reached a point, which i now understand getting thus far - the enigmatic stare of The Buddha. it is the point (like the next level in video game) in which one can see thru the eyelids completely, as if lids not even present. it is not a gaze, as some lamens may choose to believe, it is actually the point of no longer needing the function of the eye sense right out, which happens to be the most prominent of the five, at least that of the humans.
Now it is at this point when i ask if he has ever taken LSD? then on to a list of other 'drugs' until the bottom of barrel - marijuana, (ooh, scary!) in which he replied that he did/does on occasion. it is at this moment in our getting reacquainted, that i produce and proceed, cracking another beer in the process and handing it to my old friend friend who seems to me to be so much older, yet at same time none-the-wiser....
him - i know i shouldn't. if she smells beer on my breath there will be hell to pay. remember how we used to drink?
me - yeah, you should have some due credit.
Heaven is Hell to some, but Hell is always hellish to anyone, best to be avoided, unless your Heaven is hellish as well. If so being - f-ck it.
but i've seen guys with open tabs before. wondering how he handles the weed on top after all these years with some trepidation, yet at the same time saturated with curiosity as if two mortal enemies chill to see what comes from the teeth cleaning....
him - remember that time ----- and goes on about a crazy high school night and the cold punishment dished out ------
me - yeah, probably shouldn't have drove into the pool like that.
it was minor in what's left of my memory, but still a big chunk of rebellion of his youth, and it was nice to see him relive even if for a moment, witness the spark in his eye that has dwindled and become so faded over time.... for me it was a simple, brief moment in time, very minor delinquency for my forever rolling rapsheet. at that age, mid-teen, i was living out of a backpack sleeping here & there when i could, always on the run, which is what you do as a runaway. think i accumulated enough lack of sleep that until this day i am still tired even after 12 hours of REM at age 51.
but those were the different paths we chose, our trajectories traveled over time & space now converging into a sit down smoke session overlooking the Lake where his kids played & wife sunbathed. he gets to go back to his mortgage and the family boat, which touches water about twice a year, but makes for status. a mountain of possessions or accomplishments? better than the me? matter of perception, i suppose. for possessions can often possess & accomplishments can easily become what you credit to/as your identity.
we said farewell with hug, for might as well make it personal if you can, for it may be your very last never knowing if there will be an obstical in the trajectory, or, what is most common we each supernova into oblivion never to cross trails again. despite what is, what was, what could be, what should never be, and what some what it to be, it is still a BIG Universe. We (claiming humans) are just small cogs & wheels in the great wheel of destiny & prophetic chance. thus, he drove off in his Mercedes & me on my bicycle to part ways again, forever & a day waiting at a bus station that doesn't exist.
in the morning he got up bright and early for his golf game; i awoke in a tent to the sound of crickets & a red-tailed hawk i've since named 'Red'.
i rose to take a piss, beer cans strewn about; at his breakfast table spilled milk over Cheerios. at noon he was talking stocks with golf buddies; i was trying to learn to speak sparrow shooing mosquitoes and picking my nose.
two very distinctly different worlds, but i like to think each as unique & interesting as the other coincide. i'm sure our get-together will be talked with about the boys and sure he will talk as positive about me as i him, for everything is everything and everything is beautiful each in their own way and where we came from is where we are going, so it is not goodbye, but until next time - smell ya later! my friend, until next time....
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